choosing music

yes, I know that I've written on this before, but this is with a slightly different twist.

So if you read my blog regularly, you know how frustrated I am with the idea of "choosing music" for Mass.

Most people just look at the "theme" of the day, or the readings, and try to find hymns that "match" them.
However, we have been given texts, called the "propers" for the opening, offertory, and communion (and other places,) which most people take no consideration of, and just fill those spaces with whatever they feel like.

If you subscribe to one of the big publishers quarterly magazines, they give a list of song suggestions for all of the places in the Mass, based on the readings or "theme" of the Mass, so that we don't have to look that up ourselves (completely neglecting, however, the role of the Propers...)

For a couple of weird reasons, I've been getting one of these subscriptions for free for the past 3 years (since I've been at St. P,) but I think they've caught me, so they've sent me a bill (which I haven't paid,) so they've stopped sending me the subscription. (fair enough.)

I've reached a point where I'm going to see if I can "survive" without a "Mass-planning guide."

Recently, I have been looking first at the Propers to find hymns that match *them* (very frustrating, since we have very few songs that are, "have mercy on me, Oh God, forgive me, I've sinned..." which seems to be the bulk of the Propers, but, oh well, that is a discussion for another day...) then when I find that I can't really find any of those, I look at my music-planning-guide, and discover that really only a couple of their suggested hymns are appropriate, and of those 3, 2 of them are suggested for 3 consecutive weeks in either direction, so I then do a bit more detective work including looking at the readings myself and trying to think of hymns, looking at the scriptural index's and seeing if they match the propers or the readings, then I might go to a website like canticanova.com to see if they have any suggestions I haven't thought of for a particular Sunday, then if I still have open spaces, I'll pick more of a general hymn like "Praise to the Lord."

So, I think I'm now ready to make the break with my music planning guides.

I have obtained a completely blank notebook, and will now attempt to do most of the grunt work on my own!

I see dead people...

no, I mean, seriously, I do! Like a lot!

(a little lighter entry than I've been writing lately...)

Well, ok, so whenever we have a funeral, the casket is put right beside/underneath the choir loft stairs, so even though I try not to, I can't help but looking right into the face of the deceased as I'm walking down the stairs!

(As I'm looking down and watching the steps so as not to trip, as the stairs curve around, the person is right in my view, below me and just a little to the left.)

It's just a little... weird.
Dead people look weird.
I'm not sure I'll ever get used to them. I know the idea that the funeral home people (or whoever dresses 'em up,) is to make them look like they're sleeping, but they're still always kind of...pale, like I know they have makeup on.

What a weird job I had. I never knew that "not being able to avoid looking at dead people regularly" was in the job description for "church music director."

what can the bishop really know?!

Recently, St. P's had our "parish visitation" by the bishop, (which every bishop is supposed to do for all of his parish's, but apparently not many do.)

He attended all of our weekend Masses, checked the sacramental records, the parish seal, etc, and met with all of the staff and some of the council's.

But I was just struck; what can he really tell from everything that he saw and heard from us?
He can see some figures and say, "well, Mass attendance is down slightly from 2005, and baptisms and marriages are way down."
But with that which he sees on paper, and he even sees what we are trying to do in our Sunday Masses (more latin, ad orientem, etc) what does he really know about us? I mean, the *point* of the visitation is for us to be able to explain those figures which seem slightly discrepant--I was even able to mention to him in the staff meeting a little bit of the craziness; while we may have slightly less attendance than we did a few years ago, that is partly explainable through the general collapse of the economy in the area, we also have most of our parishioners traveling a good distance to come here. But WHY? what do they come here for? Why do most of them drive past several other churches to come here? (Fr. G also was able to explain a little that he has been taking a bit stricter approach with who gets married here and what-not, of course as a moral necessity.)

(I was, however, a little bit afraid to actually point out the even more amazing fact to the bishop, that when he sees "our attendance is slightly down from 5 years ago," that the actual turnoever, has been, I would estimate, that at LEAST 75% of Mass attending parishioners are new from 5 years ago! That means that's actual turnover on top of everything else! (I'm not quite sure what he would have made of that... I did mention that some people had left because of some of the liturgical changes we have been making, and he said something like, "oh, and of course you realize that's not a good thing?" well duh, I do hope I didn't sound like I thought it was a good thing...)

But my thoughts about, "what does the bishop actually know about us?" were brought up again today. We had actually quite a beautiful Mass, the choir sang well, they hymns were excellent, and it was very sacred-feeling, and there was even a little bit more Latin than usual. I can imagine the average Joe off the street would have been rather shaken up at witnessing it. BUT, I heard afterwards that a visiting [ex?-parishioner?] was NOT happy about it, and clearly expressed her feelings. And will likely write a letter of complaint to the bishop, blah blah...
Yes, of course I'm sad about all of these people who have left and are so upset and everything, and I wish they would come back, and at least TRY to be more open to these changes we are making, but even if they are unable to do so, then I wish that they would REALIZE what is going on... THEY can go to ANY OTHER CATHOLIC CHURCH PRACTICALLY IN THE WHOLE WORLD and have a completely English, banal, facing-the-people, singing schmaltzy folk-songs Mass, but here...for ONE church out of a hundred, we have done something which people cannot get anywhere else within driving distance.

Of course I want these people to stay and experience this...ineffableness! the grandeur! What beautiful worship is supposed to be like! But, if they can't, then...please. Could they leave us alone? And let us do what the Church prescribes to be done, and they go to the next-door neighbor church where they can get their dose of trite and commonplace worship...and just let us worship how we KNOW we must?

I'm sorry, I know, it was a strange twist of fate (?) that put Fr. G in one of the most "progressive" parishes in the diocese, just filling a spot, where everyone decided right away that they hated him, and then he hired me... And this church happens to still have beautiful architecture and an intact high altar... and so I am very sorry for any people who may feel like their "home parish" has been taken over by "traditionalists," but... tell me please, with the historical events out of our control of the past 5 years, how could it have happened any differently?

(I'm going to do a very terrible thing, since I really have to run right now, and just click "publish post" without reading any of the terrible things which I may have mistakenly written...sigh)

a change in time

(I wish I had a few more facts for this entry, like names and dates, but I don't, so here goes...)

outside of St. P's, there are two memorials to different pastors of the parish right next the the church.

The first one is a plaque to a pastor from (I think?) around the turn of the 20th century (1900?) or so; it is attached to a statue of Jesus, like the Sacred Heart or something.

The second one is actually the grave of a pastor from the 1970's; it has a (not very attractive) bronze picture/engraving of him on a flat tombstone (I think there might also be like a prayer or some words or something, but I can't remember.)

If you think about it for a moment, the contrast is striking, and very telling.

100 years ago, to memorialize and honor someone, you put up a statue of Jesus.
In the 1980's, to memorialize someone, you put up a statue of...them.

who am i?! (a little rant)

what credentials do I have? like seriously...

a bit of rambling,
I was talking to one of my teachers, and my teacher was talking about a few of the other students, "well, so-and-so is quite a bit older than you, and this other student so-and-so has been working in churches for years, and so-and-so is really experienced in these kind of things we are talking about..."

I'm not entirely sure, but it almost seemed like my teacher was questioning my (just recently expressed loudly) opinions on a couple of things, and the mention of the other students in comparison was to have me listen to their experience.

but as I think about it..well, who the heck am i? what right do i have to any opinions about organ music and church music?

well, even though I'm "only" in my mid-20s, I've been doing music in churches for the past 10 years, and believe me, I've run the line-up from charismatic praise-and-worship music, rock bands (with drums and everything), total folk-groups with just me and a few guitars, standard organ music (think: modern day Catholic, in which I hardly cared about proper texts or rules or anything like that, while playing all the "latest " Haugen/Haas,) playing organ for a Tridentine Mass, to playing in my current situation with hymns, english and latin chants.

I don't have experience? Yes, some people have more than I do, and certainly in years, but I do feel like I have intimately known all of the musical/liturgical experiences which I HAVE had...so don't sniff your nose at me, cuz I'm not sure I even know of anyone else who has had anywhere near my broad range of experience, especially in that short amount of time!

(maybe I'm just being prideful and i really dont know anything...if so, forgive me...)

my 300th post

an interesting article (containing many interesting comments from a side of the fence that I rarely ever listen to,) a website I would never otherwise look at, and a writer that I might occasionally read.

http://ncronline.org/blogs/all-things-catholic/next-generation-catholic-leaders