Dear bishop of xxxx diocese (to which I am moving)

Why does it have to be so hard to find a job? All I want to do is serve the Church, really, honestly! I don't even have to paid a lot of money! All I want to do is to provide high-quality, sacred music, just like the Roman Catholic Church directs.

And the pastors and churches in your diocese are not exactly making it easy.

Here's a description of the last three full-time job openings in your diocese--

The most recent parish sounded very promising. They claim to appreciate both contemporary as well as traditional music, and say that their mission is in line with the values of the Second Vatican Council. Well, apparently we must not have read the same Vatican II documents, because after browsing around on their website for only a couple of minutes, I came upon a video of a large Mass from a couple years ago, and not only was the viewer blessed by "liturgical" dance, but the Mass also involved a large glass bowl filled with little pieces of leavened bread at the offertory. How original. (Um, the Eastern Churches beat you to that by a couple thousand years. Sorry guys, how about you stick with the directives for the ROMAN Catholic Church.)
I think I would cry every weekend if I worked there.

Also recently posted, is a parish that requires "comfort in various liturgical styles," as well as a Bachelor of Music, but declares that "no experience is necessary" for the applicant. Wow. Not sure how that would work. I was curious to discover more of what this church values, so I went to their website to read their mission statement. In the very first sentence of it, they call themselves an "open and welcoming Catholic community, centered in the Eucharist and celebrating God's gift of Diversity." Well, "Diversity" can be nice, but to put it right up there with the Eucharist? Hmmm... It appears that everywhere else on their website or bulletins that they use certain buzzwords, they are always capitalized, like "Peace and Justice" or "Diversity," but won't capitalize the word "bread" even when referring to the Eucharist. I only bothered to look at 3 of their recent bulletins, but 2 of them included pre-Vatican II bashing in the priest's bulletin article, as in "the bad old days when no one but priests or nuns were allowed to read the Bible." Moving along...

Prior to that, a parish that I had recently visited for a concert publicized a job opening. While at the concert, I noted that they had a pretty nice, new, organ, but that the "Stations of the Cross" around the sanctuary (which I believe are required in every Catholic Church?) were not exactly scenes from the Way of the Cross...they were more like "Happy Scenes from Jesus' Life." A church that does not appreciate the value of suffering, especially Christ's Redemptive Suffering, is not somewhere I want to be.

So, dear Bishop, please help me. Either find me somewhere to work; like I said, I really don't need a lot of money! I just want somewhere that will appreciate me! Somewhere that I can use music to glorify God, and not a parish whose theology centers around making people "feel good." Or else, please just lay the smack down in your diocese. Kick some butt, please. You're the bishop! I know of priests who get letters sent to the bishop because they preach things that are true and beautiful, (and those priests hear about it!) so why don't you do anything about priests who are actually disobedient to the directives of the Church? I know you won't do anything. Why bother.

With all respect,
-me

(A letter which I very seriously will consider sending if nothing changes in the next couple months!)